Monday, September 5, 2016

Pistils at dawn

A man with a beard is being harassed by a man in a top hat.  He has had enough and stands up forcefully, “That does it!  Pistols at dawn!”

Cut to black and the sounding of a rooster crowing.  We slowly fade from black and the man in the top hat is revealed holding a .50 caliber desert eagle.  He looks confident and handles the weapon like an expert. 

The camera jumps to the man with the beard.  He’s holding a single petunia.  The camera jumps back to the top hat man who shows a look of incredulity and superiority.  He knows how this duel is going to end. 

Another rooster crows and the bearded man begins to sprint forward.  The top hat man seems somewhat surprised and opens fire.  The bearded man makes a dramatic gesture with the petunia and successfully deflects the incoming bullet with a shower of sparks.  The top hat man begins to panic and fires repeatedly.  The bearded man expertly waves the petunia to deflect each incoming round.  Sparks shower his path as each bullet collides with the petunia and is propelled harmlessly away.  We see one more panicked look of horror on the face of the top hat man and the bearded man has reached him.  An enormous stroke of the petunia cleaves the top hat man in two.  The duel is over.

Cut to the bearded man on a bicycle leaving the scene of the duel.  A quick camera jump down to his feet reveal that they are resting not on normal bicycle pedals, but instead this bicycle uses large rose petals to turn the wheels.

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